by K. Aleisha fetters 9 July 2013, the EDT 07:35
They have been never happier.If you do not fight, have not great make-up sex. But the older you are, the more you try to avoid the arguments with your spouse, according to a new study of from San Francisco State University.
In the study researchers kept tabs on middle-aged and older couples for a period of 13 years, and three times sounded the couples discuss conflict areas of finances to housework. As the years went on, were both rather the subject to move men and women or to distract the attention of any disagreements.
People tend to avoid the drama of their younger days and are looking for less controversial interactions, as they grow older, says senior researcher Sarah Holley, Ph.d.. The problem: the change strategy relates to doesn't work in General, as planned.
"Often people in relationships feel, you need to 'keep their feelings of peace' and"not rock the boat"sacrifice", says marriage and family therapist Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.d. "while comfortably in the short term, it leads to resentment and rage over the long term." Indeed, the research at Florida State University shows that couples who fight over hurt feelings right from the get-go are happier than those easy to forgive and forget.
If you usually tend to avoid conflict "to express your feelings does not kill you - or your relationship", Hokeymeyer says. He says the key is to keep your fighting under control. Feuds over finances? Budget talks to plan. Contact about spending and debt to go. Negotiate she lets the question to discuss - but as you sympathize, make your case. Use instructions "and" instead of "but". ("I understand you are nervous, and I want to buy this new plasma-TV. ("How we find out this together?")
Here are 5 more ways to get to fight with a woman.
Additional reporting by Kristina Grish
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