by Kristen Domonell July 8, 2013, the EDT 07:52
Weaken Hey, there a little.Rose-colored glasses not great wedding gifts. Make overly optimistic feeling, what could your marriage unhappy, the road down, finds a new study of UCLA.
Researchers asked how they saw their marriage unfolds over the next 4 years, then every 6 months during this period with the couple checked in only married couples in their mid-20s. Almost everybody predicted their relationships stable would stay, but at the end of the study, marital satisfaction decreased the average despite the optimism. Most interesting: Women with the friendliest initial forecasts show the sharpest drops landed.
Tell me how? If spouses in their roles get settled, says some of the excitement married subsides, study author Justin Lavner.
Based in San Francisco marriage therapist Lisa Kift Brookes says, this is the "honeymoon phase" - the giddy stage in a relationship, ends where your girlfriend or wife can do no wrong. "The problem is that couples come can feel immune against potential problems, that can lead to unrealistic expectations for a marriage between them," says Brookes Kift.
The trick is to set realistic expectations right off the bat. "Clarifies the means that things happen and relationships just don't always", she says. Check-in frequently with her hurt feelings or shifts in the thinking so that none of you builds resentment.
And don't worry, couples therapy, also try if your marriage perfectly alright. Brookes Kift says nowadays more and more brides and grooms plan regular appointments with counselors. The goal is to use each session as a relationship of "Maintenance" to sort small problems, before they become bigger problems to deal with. Find a licensed therapist in your area here.
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Filed under: advice, Fortune, marital satisfaction, marriage, married life, bride and groom, optimism, relationship advice, relationships, therapy, unhappy
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